I woke up this morning and go to school on time, which is always a good thing. This going to school full time in my 40's is a strange thing. This is my second semester, so I've adjusted a bit, but in my get sometimes I still feel like I should be making money every day and not taking this time to finish the degree. It's difficult to let finances take a back seat for the time it's going to take me to finish school. Something about it feels like I'm letting my family down.
know that's not entirely rational, and that school is a very good thing
for me. I enjoy it, for one. I excel at it, for two. It's something
that I should have done a long time ago, but my head was never quite
right about it. I spent a lot of time working for whatever job I could
get just to keep money coming in, and in retrospect, that was pretty
dumb. It would have been much easier to take this hit financially in my
20's, and I would have reaped the rewards of the degree for a lot
longer. Still, this is the right thing to do. I believe that, even
though my instinct is to run back to full time work every time a bill
School was interesting today. I got
through my classes and figured out the classes I'd be taking next year,
which was stressful but fun. I ended up deciding to get a double minor
in Journalism and Professional Writing, because I have a bunch of
elective credits to take and a bunch of English classes to take
consecutively, so it's going to take me four full semesters after this
one to finish up. I figured I'd might as well get the most out of those
To end the school day, I went to
the college's visiting writer series, where a guest writer reads from
his work and answers some questions. I'd been looking forward to this
all semester. The writer was Colm Toibin, Irish novelist and gay rights
activist who authored Brooklyn, Nora Webster, and a few other novels. He
also writes plays and poetry and teaches at Columbia University.
was one of the most well-spoken people I've ever had the pleasure of
listening to, and he intertwined exerpts from Brooklyn and Nora Webster
with personal anecdotes that told a whole new story. The only writer
I've seen speak and read who put on a better show was Neil Gaiman, but
Gaiman's reading felt very well rehearsed, whereas Toibin speaks to you
like he's reading to the crowd in a pub and has somehow gotten their
attention. He's just easygoing and not at all stiff or calculated, and
the effect was captivating. By the end of an hour and a half, you
couldn't help but feel like you'd known him for years.
man's work speaks for itself. What I will say is I left feeling
inspired and a little hopeless all at the same time. I struggle clumsily
over words in speech and writing at times, and despite my belief that
practice will indeed help me find my own voice, I have a natural fear
that I'll never approach the skill of writers like Toibin.
grabbed a bit to eat and walked around Barnes and Noble with my best
friend, who was having a rough day. We talked it through and I think she
felt better when we left. Life is tough, folks, and sometimes it can be
overwhelming. I've been there, and that's where she was today. The good
news is, usually you come out the other side stronger and moving in the
right direction. I hope I helped her do that tonight.
and Noble, or any bookstore, really, is my personal zen space. Whatever
mood I am in when I get there, I always walk out feeling happy and
refreshed, and usually ready to write. Tonight was no exception, but I
felt like procrastinating when I got home.
not really. Truth is, my wife wasn't home from he night class yet, and I
didn't want to start writing when she was likely to walk in the door at
any minute. Instead, I straightened up the house, put away some
laundry, took a shower, and played some Rocket League. I love that game,
but man, am I terrible at it. I guess that's a testament to how much
fun it is though, because I can lose several games in a row and still
have a great time.
She finally came home,
watched some T.V., and went to bed. It was already midnight, so I logged
into Word with the intent of banging out a quick thousand words
tonight, getting the blog done, and heading to bed. That's what I've
done. The story is progressing well, even though I think there's going
to be a lot of cutting when it's finished. I should be able to finish it
up by Friday night, and then the cutting will begin.
it's just turned 1 in the morning. I got the writing and the blog done,
so it's time to read for a few minutes and hit the sack.
Fiction Word Count - 1159
Total Fiction Words April - 4604
Blog word count tonight - 913
Total Blog Count April - 2596
By the way, I weighed in at 244 lbs on Monday. My goal is to get down under 200. I'll get started on that in earnest tomorrow.